Musings from the stairwell floor

Today's lesson, boys and girls, is brought to you by the letter B.

Balance has never been my strong suit. And that's in any context, whether we're talking physical equilibrium or the ephemeral balance between work and play, bliss and despair. I tend to be a woman of extremes. So I'm not surprised that I found myself yesterday afternoon at the bottom of a flight of concrete stairs. With my poor sense of balance, I always figured I'd one day go stair-diving; I just figured I'd be 75 and end up breaking a hip. Instead, I was 31 and clipped the edge of a dolly on the nearby rail. I went head-first down the staircase, a series of thuds punctuating each slam of my flesh on the unforgiving concrete. 

I am bruised aplenty and did quite a number on my ankle, but aside from stiffness and tenderness I'm not too worse for the wear. And my skin matches the lovely teal blouse I was wearing yesterday. (I do so like to blend.) The irony is that I had my back X-rayed not two hours before I took the spill. I think the accident actually knocked something back into place.  

I am reminded of when my car did a couple of 360s on Interstate 20 after I swerved to avoid a tire in the road. When it happened, I couldn't think about other people driving 70 mph behind me. All I could do is mentally chant: Don't flip the car. Don't flip the car. Don't flip the car. I managed to keep the car from flipping, and God protected us all on the interstate that day. I did a couple of donuts and slid harmlessly off the side of the highway into a ditch. Not a scratch on me, the car or the passers-by. In yesterday's embarrassing spill, I managed to protect my head and neck, letting my arms and legs take the brunt of the impact. Another deliverance from serious harm, thank God.

So what lessons did I learn from this?

1. Stair-diving isn't as fun as it looks. I should have read the rules first.

2. You can't will yourself upright when you're already at a 90-degree angle.

3. When circumstances pull your feet out from under you and there's nowhere to go but down, protect your head and let your body take the lumps. Bruises eventually heal.

If anybody asks about the beating I took, I'll tell them the truth. I got into a fight with some concrete stairs, but only one of us got up and walked away. That makes me the winner.